Cheryl...

I was only going to say a few words, but it's turned out to be much more, so I will just make a post out of this.

You'll have to pardon me, I'm having a little difficulty with this. Although I was never given a reason, I am not allowed on your blog, but you come to mine and make comments. I wasn't going to respond at first, but since there's no other way of corresponding with you, I have only two choices. Ignore your comment, or reply. I will give you the courtesy of a reply.

Although 'we' are usually our worst enemy, and 'we' are the ones who beat our self up over things, I don't know where you're getting that I'm being hard on myself from this particular post.

I spoke in my post about disappointments, failures, obstacles. Something we all encounter, and something most of us like to share. I don't post things like this seeking pity. I do not think I am anybody special. I know there are many many people in this world who are worse off than I am.

However, it's just human nature that when things are happening to 'us', we tend to temporarily forget anything that is going on with others in order to deal with our own problems, and I share these problems in hopes of encouragement, or to perhaps let someone else know that they aren't alone, that it happens to each and every one of us.

I am the first to admit that I have questioned God as to why so many obstacles? Why must things be so hard for me? The little bit I mentioned in my post was only a drop in the bucket.

I am more than willing to give myself a break. I could use one in the worst way. But God has other plans for me obviously. And the only way I get through this is by reminding myself that my burdens are ordained, and that God is building my character, and I must have faith and believe.

I have had plenty of pity parties for myself. So I don't need that from others. I just recently finished 29 radiation treatments for breast cancer. And believe me, this being my 2nd time around with it, I certainly wanted to give up. But with encouragement from a few very special people, I kept on trudging until I finished. I left here every weekday morning at 4:30 to drive 145 mile round trip in order to receive treatment. I began June 10th and finished July 18th. I pulled over many times on the way home and give way to tears. I was fried, I was exhausted, and there were days I wish I hadn't woke up.

I would remind myself of a quote by Helen Keller. "Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world."

It didn't always work that way, but I would tell myself "rise and shine" Karen, don't "rise and whine".

The last time I went through this, I took 37 radiation treatments. I was married, and my husband who worked 3rd shift at GM, come home from work each morning and drove me to every single one of my treatments, I had a shoulder. This time, I faced it alone, and it was much more difficult.

So no, I don't think I am being hard on myself, someone 'else' is being hard on me. I've actually been on my knees begging the Lord for guidance to get me through, and show me the way.